he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
