Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
