I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize