Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
