if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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