the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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