Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
