I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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