I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
