Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
