No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Girls should come with a carfax report
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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