girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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