bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize