Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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