took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
