he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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