please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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