Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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