im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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