I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
