just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize