I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
