Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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