lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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