He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
