Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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