I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
