so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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