shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
