Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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