I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
