I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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