Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
