Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
