You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
