i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
