WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
