dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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