Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
