Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house

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(917): View more from New York City

Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him

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(716): View more from New York

I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.

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(708): View more from Illinois

if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.

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(404): View more from Georgia

He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.

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(903): View more from Texas

The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.

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(904): View more from Florida

Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?

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