Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
