Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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