last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
