Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
