i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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