So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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