That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
