Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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