This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
