You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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