But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
