waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize