Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
