So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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