i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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