ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
