Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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